I wish to send this message for the young people of Singapore.
You have grown up in a competitive and stressful environment. You had to study hard and compete with your classmates - at least you try to excel, You spent many hours on tuition, home work and extra curricular activities. Amid the heavy study load, you probably do not have the time to learn about the social values and interaction. Maybe, the values were taught to you, but you might not have paid attention to them.
So, here is my message to you.
1. Difference of views
You will find people with different views from you. It does not mean that they are wrong and you are right. Many people with differing views are right from their perspective. Do respect their views.
2. Be positive
When someone comes up with an idea or suggestion - look for what is right, rather than what is wrong. When you look for what is right, you are being positive. There is a tendency for most people to be negative as they are looking for a perfect solution and nobody can agree on what this perfect solution is. By being positive, you accept that the solution is not perfect, but is probably better than the current situation, and that change has to be made in small steps.
3. Be courteous and respectful
You can voice a different view but it should be done in a courteous manner. You can state your views but should not insult, defame or attack other people. You have to be careful when you are posting your views anonymously on the Internet, as there is a tendency for people to behave badly when they feel safe from accountability.
4. Judging another person
There is a difference between judging a specific person or giving a view on an issue. You should avoid passing any judgment on another people. It is all right to express a view on any issue, without being personal.
Although I have addressed this message to young people, it is also relevant to other people who might not be aware of these points. I hope that you find the points to be useful and relevant.
Tan Kin Lian
You have grown up in a competitive and stressful environment. You had to study hard and compete with your classmates - at least you try to excel, You spent many hours on tuition, home work and extra curricular activities. Amid the heavy study load, you probably do not have the time to learn about the social values and interaction. Maybe, the values were taught to you, but you might not have paid attention to them.
So, here is my message to you.
1. Difference of views
You will find people with different views from you. It does not mean that they are wrong and you are right. Many people with differing views are right from their perspective. Do respect their views.
2. Be positive
When someone comes up with an idea or suggestion - look for what is right, rather than what is wrong. When you look for what is right, you are being positive. There is a tendency for most people to be negative as they are looking for a perfect solution and nobody can agree on what this perfect solution is. By being positive, you accept that the solution is not perfect, but is probably better than the current situation, and that change has to be made in small steps.
3. Be courteous and respectful
You can voice a different view but it should be done in a courteous manner. You can state your views but should not insult, defame or attack other people. You have to be careful when you are posting your views anonymously on the Internet, as there is a tendency for people to behave badly when they feel safe from accountability.
4. Judging another person
There is a difference between judging a specific person or giving a view on an issue. You should avoid passing any judgment on another people. It is all right to express a view on any issue, without being personal.
Although I have addressed this message to young people, it is also relevant to other people who might not be aware of these points. I hope that you find the points to be useful and relevant.
Tan Kin Lian
11 comments:
agree
I agree with you. But just a gentle reminder for you, Mr Tan - make sure you also practise what you have said in your message as there were many people who felt that you hold a contrary stance. They said that you are intolerant of different views, not positive, not courteous and likes to judge people.
@3:20 PM Can you give your name? It is only courteous for you to do so.
The people who pass the remarks said by you should know the difference between giving views and insults.
I do not accept insults from anonymous people, but I allow different views, expressed courteously, to be posted.
I make observations of people in general but do not pass judgement on any specific person.
Somehow, some people read from my general remarks that I am referring to them, but they should be more open minded to know that it is a general remark, not directed at a specific person.
These people are ready to attack another person directly (but anonymously) and cannot take a general remark that they felt to be referring to them.
This is my observation about some of these people. It is better that they realize the difference between a general remark and a personal attack.
Mr Tan,
I also make observations, like you, of people in general and hope that, to the best of my linguistic abilities, I do not pass judgement on people, especially you.
From your blog, I notice that your viewpoints are also "quite judgemental" about others. Take for example, your points about "students should learn to be more positive and less judgemental. If they look at what is right, the climate will be more invigorating." or "Some people think that they are being helpful by taking a negative approach. They are mistaken." Such viewpoints expressed by you are by themselves judgmental in nature. Do you agree? I hope that I am able to make you see my point without being overly offensive or rude or judgemental towards to you.
@6:12 pm
I notice that you can pass your views without posting your name. Do put your real name down, if you wish to have a discussion.
There is a difference between passing a judgement on a specific person and making a general observation (not directed at any person). I do not know why you feel that any specific observation is being directed at you, and being judgmental.
And you do not seem to know the difference between these two set of circumstances.
If you, while remaining anonymous, can be offended by general remarks, you should know the feelings of other people that are being attacked personally.
Mr Tan,
Pardon my frankness to let you know that I am afraid you have gotten it incorrect this time. I do fully understand what you meant about the difference between passing a judgement on a specific person and making a general observation.
In all fairness, from your comments, remarks and viewpoints expressed in your Blog and Facebook, you did not seem to differentiate the two very well, at least linguistically and semantically. Perhaps, this is the main reason why you may have been misunderstood. (Note: You may wish to consult others and get some feedback from other readers and not rely only on my views alone.)
Let me state, in all honesty, that I am not offended by your general remarks at all. Neither your viewpoints. You said that you do not know why others feel that any specific observation expressed by you is being directed at them, and being judgmental. If my assessment is right (maybe wrong, but I hope not!), the underlying problem arises from making wild and critical generalisations (you called it making a general observations).
I hope that I have been courteous to you and if you feel offended, please accept my apologies. Bye now.
10:01 pm Please state your name if you wish to engage in a discussion.
Stating name helps to give more weights to one's view and contribute to healthy discussion.
TKL is not always right. But he is prepaid to take a position and speak out on issues of social ills. Unlike many of the riches and once our most powerful ones who have gone into a very comfortable retirement and playing golf well are their daily routines.
Singapore needs more leaders like the late President Ong Teng Cheong and Dr Toh Chin Chye who really care and work hard for the people. Sad to acknowledge that we have too many YES-MEN around. I am therefore, not surprised that our quality of life drops significantly due to bad polices in recent years.
If more Singaporeans are prepared to take a position on issues that affecting them like TKL, the better and healthier relationship between the government and the people will be established - the kind of equal partnership ensures the very refined policies benefiting all. A lopsided relationship that causing the decline of our quality of life can then be avoided.
I love all undergraduates.
X value which is applicable in Singapore may not applicable in Y nation!
X value which was doing in 1960s may be harmful now or future !
Both young student and lecturer are learning and growing together !
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